1 00:00:26,344 --> 00:00:27,512 This way. 2 00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:58,084 Oh. So sorry. 3 00:00:58,167 --> 00:00:59,460 I-- sorry. 4 00:00:59,544 --> 00:01:02,130 I was looking at that guy. 5 00:01:02,213 --> 00:01:04,464 -What guy? -He's not there, he was right-- 6 00:01:05,341 --> 00:01:06,551 -I don't know. -What'd he look like? 7 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:07,844 He was wet. 8 00:01:07,927 --> 00:01:09,429 -He was a wet guy? -Mm-hmm. 9 00:01:10,847 --> 00:01:13,099 Professor Shepard said to wait here in front of Cabot Hall. 10 00:01:13,182 --> 00:01:16,561 Did she say how long to wait? Because I think we are supposed to start-- 11 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:19,897 Ah, okay. I'll just stand here then. 12 00:01:21,565 --> 00:01:23,776 -Nice mustache, jerk. -I can hear you. 13 00:01:23,860 --> 00:01:26,279 Yeah, I know, I know. 14 00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:27,989 -No, I didn't. I'm sorry, I-- -Mr. Russo? 15 00:01:28,071 --> 00:01:30,116 Yes. Greg, please. 16 00:01:30,199 --> 00:01:31,659 Professor Shepard? 17 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:32,827 -Dylan. -Dylan. Right, right. 18 00:01:32,910 --> 00:01:35,455 Hey, hey. Thank you, Eric. 19 00:01:35,538 --> 00:01:38,541 Eric did a great job picking me up. He left. 20 00:01:39,374 --> 00:01:40,460 You ready to rock and roll? 21 00:01:40,543 --> 00:01:41,544 Nope. 22 00:01:42,295 --> 00:01:43,880 Oh, yuck, there I am. 23 00:01:43,963 --> 00:01:45,840 -I don't love these readings. I don't. -Yep, that's you. 24 00:01:45,922 --> 00:01:50,678 I get so self-conscious, and I can't, I can't... 25 00:01:50,761 --> 00:01:52,513 Oh, no, you can't read? 26 00:01:52,597 --> 00:01:55,016 Oh, if you come to a big word, just sound it out. 27 00:01:55,099 --> 00:01:56,976 I write books that you're supposed to read at the beach. 28 00:01:57,059 --> 00:01:59,187 They are light, they are fun. 29 00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:00,772 Characters that you like have sex, 30 00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,440 the ones that you don't get shot in the face. 31 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:04,275 -What? -At a stuffy college like this, 32 00:02:04,359 --> 00:02:05,693 these kids aren't looking for fun. 33 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,654 -They're looking for depth. -Hey. I teach a class 34 00:02:07,737 --> 00:02:10,198 about the poetry of Bad Bunny. You'll be fine, okay? 35 00:02:10,281 --> 00:02:11,699 What's a bad bunny? 36 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,409 -Let's do this. -Okay. 37 00:02:13,493 --> 00:02:16,371 "Rooster didn't mean to shoot Eduardo in the face, 38 00:02:16,454 --> 00:02:18,039 "but there it was. 39 00:02:18,122 --> 00:02:22,085 "One perfect bullet hole right below his eye. 40 00:02:22,168 --> 00:02:25,629 "That night, Rooster drifted to sleep in a beach chair. 41 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:29,258 "Luckily, the first thing he saw when he woke was Margo, 42 00:02:29,342 --> 00:02:32,679 "smiling as she floated towards him 43 00:02:32,762 --> 00:02:35,682 in the shimmering morning heat." 44 00:02:42,063 --> 00:02:43,480 See? Wasn't so bad. 45 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:47,026 Okay, we have time for a few questions. 46 00:02:48,528 --> 00:02:50,405 Okay. Ronni, go ahead. 47 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,157 Mr. Russo, first, I want to thank you for coming 48 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,201 -and giving us your time. -Oh, my pleasure. 49 00:02:55,284 --> 00:02:56,536 -No, really, thank you. -Oh, thank you. 50 00:02:56,619 --> 00:02:58,121 Appreciate it. What was your question? 51 00:02:58,204 --> 00:02:59,080 Why do you hate women? 52 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:04,460 Wow, I don't-- I-- That's a fun way to start. 53 00:03:04,544 --> 00:03:07,755 Easy answer. I don't hate women. 54 00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:11,884 "Mango was Rooster's favorite flavor besides Margo herself." 55 00:03:11,968 --> 00:03:13,386 So here, you're comparing the taste 56 00:03:13,469 --> 00:03:15,680 of a woman's vagina to a Popsicle. 57 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:18,725 I did not know I was doing that. 58 00:03:18,808 --> 00:03:22,228 Well, you also say that she "smelled like birthday cake." 59 00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:23,896 What was your thought process when you wrote that? 60 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,315 I... I must have been hungry. 61 00:03:27,942 --> 00:03:29,110 Here's the thing. 62 00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,989 I don't see Margo as a sex object. 63 00:03:33,072 --> 00:03:36,075 Yes, she and Rooster 64 00:03:36,159 --> 00:03:37,994 -do have sex a few times-- -Sixteen times. 65 00:03:38,077 --> 00:03:39,495 Okay, good, you counted. 66 00:03:39,579 --> 00:03:41,622 I mean, 17, if you include the oral sex. 67 00:03:41,706 --> 00:03:45,084 Have to include that, right? 68 00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,335 Yeah, let's include it. 69 00:03:46,419 --> 00:03:48,754 For what it's worth, the character of Margo 70 00:03:48,838 --> 00:03:51,424 is based on a woman I used to be married to. 71 00:03:51,507 --> 00:03:56,596 So, yes, she is sexy and beautiful, but she is also smart and brave. 72 00:03:56,679 --> 00:03:58,055 That feeds into my question. 73 00:03:58,139 --> 00:04:01,934 You know the part where Margo saves Rooster from the drug smugglers? 74 00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:03,519 Exactly, she's very brave in that moment. 75 00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:05,730 Well, especially since she took off her bikini 76 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,482 and did it all topless. 77 00:04:07,565 --> 00:04:09,275 Yes. 78 00:04:09,358 --> 00:04:11,110 She had to make a tourniquet. 79 00:04:12,737 --> 00:04:13,821 What was your question? 80 00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:15,573 -That was hot. -Smokeshow. 81 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,826 Alright, great question. Anybody else? 82 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,453 Ronni, you've had your turn. 83 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,415 Hey, Cristle. Is he back? 84 00:04:24,499 --> 00:04:26,793 He's here. He's very excited. 85 00:04:26,876 --> 00:04:30,379 My gosh. I mean, my gosh. 86 00:04:30,463 --> 00:04:33,132 Just outstanding. 87 00:04:33,216 --> 00:04:34,926 -Oh. -Not sure if you've officially met 88 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,219 our president, Walter Mann. 89 00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:37,720 I was already a fan, 90 00:04:37,804 --> 00:04:40,932 but absolutely loved the way you handled that Ronni. 91 00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,475 Well, I hope I didn't make her feel bad. 92 00:04:42,558 --> 00:04:44,143 Ah, who cares? 93 00:04:44,227 --> 00:04:45,978 Nobody makes these kids feel bad anymore. 94 00:04:46,062 --> 00:04:49,148 Let me tell you something. Life is hard. 95 00:04:49,232 --> 00:04:50,983 -And we are teaching these kids... -Hello. 96 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,360 ...exactly squat. 97 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:54,529 -Hmm. -It's out of control, am I right? 98 00:04:54,612 --> 00:04:56,447 Actually, I think it's refreshing that young people are-- 99 00:04:56,531 --> 00:04:58,157 Oh, thank you, Cristle. You're done. 100 00:04:58,241 --> 00:05:00,034 Off you go. Please tell Dean Riggs 101 00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:02,537 -I will meet him at the gym. -Fine. 102 00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:04,664 Thank you for tolerating me. 103 00:05:04,747 --> 00:05:06,082 We're not speaking. 104 00:05:06,165 --> 00:05:07,667 -Bye, Greg! -She seems nice. 105 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:10,419 It's Crissle, yes? There's no T? 106 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,381 -There's a T. -There's a T. 107 00:05:13,464 --> 00:05:15,049 -Oh. -Liberal arts colleges 108 00:05:15,132 --> 00:05:16,759 used to be safe havens 109 00:05:16,843 --> 00:05:18,261 for free thought, Greg. 110 00:05:18,344 --> 00:05:20,137 When did you and I become the bad guys? 111 00:05:20,221 --> 00:05:21,514 Amen. What? 112 00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:23,975 Populism is not very popular here. 113 00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,434 I mean, take Dylan. I love her, 114 00:05:25,518 --> 00:05:28,312 but it's no surprise that she hasn't read any of your books. 115 00:05:28,396 --> 00:05:30,565 -What are you doing? -It's okay. 116 00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:34,068 I actually haven't read any of your poetry, either. 117 00:05:34,151 --> 00:05:37,530 It's funny, in your emails, you said you loved Dylan's poetry. 118 00:05:37,613 --> 00:05:39,949 I did. I do love them. 119 00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:43,035 Read all of them. I just didn't wanna make her feel bad. 120 00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:44,161 Ah. 121 00:05:44,245 --> 00:05:46,539 Happy? You got us both. 122 00:05:46,622 --> 00:05:49,250 Unintentional. Just Walt being Walt. 123 00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:50,668 Dylan, to be continued. 124 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,170 Greg, you give me a ten count and then join me. 125 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:58,050 Yes, he wants you to count to ten and, no, I don't know why. 126 00:05:58,134 --> 00:05:59,302 Okay. 127 00:06:00,136 --> 00:06:01,304 I'm gonna read your books. 128 00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:03,055 Oh, no. Don't worry about it. 129 00:06:03,139 --> 00:06:04,473 Nice meeting you, Greg. 130 00:06:04,557 --> 00:06:06,267 Nice you-- me also. 131 00:06:07,226 --> 00:06:08,269 Okay. 132 00:06:08,352 --> 00:06:10,438 What are you doing? 133 00:06:11,522 --> 00:06:12,690 Okay. 134 00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,694 Oh, boy. 135 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,029 That was barely eight there, Greg. 136 00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:20,239 Do you need another 10 or 20 count? 137 00:06:20,323 --> 00:06:22,283 -May I guess what you're thinking? -I doubt it. 138 00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:24,994 Most college presidents are bookish shut-ins, 139 00:06:25,077 --> 00:06:26,412 but this guy's jacked. 140 00:06:26,495 --> 00:06:28,873 That's exactly what I was thinking. 141 00:06:29,248 --> 00:06:31,959 I would have also accepted, "Wow!" 142 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:34,170 You know my secret? Hot sauna, cold plunge, 143 00:06:34,253 --> 00:06:35,880 every goddamn day. 144 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:37,798 You get the same endorphins you get from cocaine, 145 00:06:37,882 --> 00:06:39,717 only it lasts two hours instead of nine minutes. 146 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,886 -Plus, come here. -Scoot closer? 147 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:45,765 It releases the brown fat. 148 00:06:45,848 --> 00:06:47,600 Well, you gotta release the brown fat. 149 00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:50,478 -I knew you'd get it. -I'm glad that you think that I do. 150 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:55,024 Listen, I would be a bad dad if I didn't ask how Katie was doing, 151 00:06:55,107 --> 00:06:57,944 and I know that you probably have heard about her and Archie. 152 00:06:58,027 --> 00:06:59,487 You go to any campus in America, 153 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:01,238 and no marriage between two faculty members 154 00:07:01,322 --> 00:07:02,949 has ever lasted more than a year and a half. 155 00:07:03,032 --> 00:07:05,368 I can't believe that is true. 156 00:07:05,451 --> 00:07:07,578 Well, it may not be factually true, but the spirit of it is. 157 00:07:08,746 --> 00:07:09,830 Now, what about you? 158 00:07:09,914 --> 00:07:11,874 -You ever think about teaching? -Oh, me? 159 00:07:11,958 --> 00:07:13,793 Oh, no. No. 160 00:07:13,876 --> 00:07:16,253 Not really. I didn't go to college. 161 00:07:16,337 --> 00:07:17,505 Who cares? It's overrated. 162 00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:19,090 Real-- Okay. 163 00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:21,759 I'm still looking for my writer-in-residence. 164 00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,261 You say the word, gig's yours. 165 00:07:24,345 --> 00:07:25,680 -Well-- -Don't answer now. 166 00:07:25,763 --> 00:07:27,390 Come back and tell me your decision before you leave. 167 00:07:27,473 --> 00:07:30,810 I want you to go out and let this campus get its magic all over you. 168 00:07:30,893 --> 00:07:32,979 -All over me? -Yeah, baby. 169 00:07:33,062 --> 00:07:34,772 In the meantime, I'm gonna go to the gym 170 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,482 and throw some metal around. You care to join? 171 00:07:36,565 --> 00:07:37,775 No, thanks. 172 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,652 -I'm gonna go see my kid. -Ah, good dad. 173 00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:41,904 You tell that Katie that if it took a campus sex scandal 174 00:07:41,988 --> 00:07:45,491 to finally get her old man up here, worth it. 175 00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:47,493 Probably not gonna tell her that. 176 00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:50,162 Thank you. Okay. Alright. 177 00:07:50,246 --> 00:07:51,622 -Hey, Greg. -Yes? 178 00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:53,958 -Thrilled you're here. -Good to see you. 179 00:08:05,970 --> 00:08:08,139 With his water lilies, Monet eschewed tradition 180 00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:10,474 and focused on the surface of the pond 181 00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,977 at his home in Giverny. Beautiful, right? 182 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:16,147 Hard to believe, but actually conservators... 183 00:08:19,191 --> 00:08:22,153 restored that exact painting with Q-tips and spit. 184 00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:24,280 -Ew. -Okay, you can take 185 00:08:24,363 --> 00:08:26,115 that slightly disgusting tidbit and get outta here. 186 00:08:26,198 --> 00:08:27,908 But there is a paper due on Monday. 187 00:08:27,992 --> 00:08:29,827 But there's a K-party this weekend. 188 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:31,871 -What is a K-party? -You don't wanna know. 189 00:08:31,954 --> 00:08:33,080 I don't wanna know, okay. 190 00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:36,541 If you feel like you need extra time on your paper, that is my dad. 191 00:08:36,625 --> 00:08:38,334 Interacting with strangers makes him very uncomfortable. 192 00:08:38,419 --> 00:08:40,796 So, if you want extra time, look him in the eye 193 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,631 and tell him that you love him, okay? 194 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,511 No. Please don't do it. 195 00:08:47,595 --> 00:08:49,680 -I love you very much. -Okay. 196 00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:52,266 See you. 197 00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,437 Do you know what brown fat is? 198 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,355 Dad, I love that you're here, but I don't need you 199 00:08:58,439 --> 00:09:00,399 -to check up on me. -I'm not checking up on you. 200 00:09:00,483 --> 00:09:01,942 They asked me to come and read. 201 00:09:02,026 --> 00:09:03,569 Oh, come on, Dad, you hate this place. 202 00:09:03,652 --> 00:09:05,696 They've asked you like a billion times. 203 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,740 -Just admit it. -I don't want to admit it, 204 00:09:07,823 --> 00:09:09,075 because you will get mad. 205 00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:13,204 -Everybody knows. -Knows what? 206 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:14,538 About Archie. 207 00:09:14,622 --> 00:09:16,373 Everybody knows. This place is like a fishbowl. 208 00:09:16,457 --> 00:09:18,084 -He knows. -He doesn't know. 209 00:09:18,167 --> 00:09:20,002 Hey, excuse me. You know that my husband 210 00:09:20,086 --> 00:09:22,129 left me to fuck a grad student, right? 211 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:23,631 Uh, I... 212 00:09:23,714 --> 00:09:25,758 -Oh. -Answer honestly, 213 00:09:25,841 --> 00:09:27,927 and I promise this moment is over for you. 214 00:09:28,719 --> 00:09:29,804 -Yes. -Thank you. 215 00:09:29,887 --> 00:09:31,222 You're welcome. 216 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:33,265 -See? -Okay. 217 00:09:33,349 --> 00:09:36,811 You know, the worst part is everybody keeps asking me what happened. 218 00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:38,521 I don't know what happened. 219 00:09:38,604 --> 00:09:40,439 We were normal, and then the next thing I know, 220 00:09:40,523 --> 00:09:42,233 he's with her, and I'm packing up 221 00:09:42,316 --> 00:09:44,401 and moving into the dead hockey coach's house. 222 00:09:44,485 --> 00:09:45,986 How did the hockey coach die? 223 00:09:47,071 --> 00:09:48,114 I think he killed himself 224 00:09:48,197 --> 00:09:50,032 because his father was focusing on the wrong part of the story. 225 00:09:50,116 --> 00:09:53,119 I'm sorry. I'm back. It wasn't on the ice, was it? 226 00:09:53,202 --> 00:09:55,162 -Dad. -I'm sorry. Go ahead. 227 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,789 I feel like everybody's looking at me all the time. 228 00:09:56,872 --> 00:09:59,125 They're not looking at you. He wasn't looking at you. 229 00:09:59,208 --> 00:10:00,668 Oh, yep, he just did. 230 00:10:00,751 --> 00:10:02,378 I'm losing my grip, Dad, I hate it. 231 00:10:02,461 --> 00:10:05,840 Honey, you're not losing your grip. You are strong. 232 00:10:06,966 --> 00:10:07,842 Whoa! 233 00:10:10,094 --> 00:10:11,303 Honey, why are we in the bushes? 234 00:10:11,387 --> 00:10:13,097 Shh, that's them over there. 235 00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:16,058 They eat their lunch here sometimes. 236 00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:17,726 -So you're stalking them? -Mm... 237 00:10:18,727 --> 00:10:21,313 -That's fine, hon. -They never even kiss. 238 00:10:21,397 --> 00:10:23,566 And look at her, she's not like some model type. 239 00:10:23,649 --> 00:10:25,651 She's just like a normal girl. 240 00:10:25,734 --> 00:10:27,486 Oh, I just-- It would make so much more sense to me 241 00:10:27,570 --> 00:10:29,280 if she was special in some way. 242 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,490 Well, honey, maybe what makes her special 243 00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:33,993 is on the inside, you know, who she is as a person. 244 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,829 -Are you fucking kidding me? -I'm sorry. 245 00:10:36,912 --> 00:10:38,789 -What are you doing? -I'm in the bushes. 246 00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:40,207 I'm off my game. 247 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,458 Look, hon. 248 00:10:43,127 --> 00:10:44,712 There's something that I-- wha... 249 00:10:44,795 --> 00:10:46,213 Just look at me. 250 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,464 -Just look at me right now. -What? 251 00:10:47,548 --> 00:10:48,841 Focus on what I'm saying, 252 00:10:48,924 --> 00:10:50,843 -because I have something important-- -No. 253 00:10:56,932 --> 00:10:58,392 Shit. 254 00:11:00,144 --> 00:11:02,021 Not many women get to be with their father 255 00:11:02,104 --> 00:11:04,273 while they watch their husband make out with someone. 256 00:11:04,356 --> 00:11:06,483 Yeah, we're pretty lucky. 257 00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:09,403 Why would you come here? 258 00:11:09,486 --> 00:11:11,113 I knew you'd be mad. 259 00:11:11,197 --> 00:11:12,698 Don't. Katie. 260 00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:21,874 No. No. 261 00:11:21,957 --> 00:11:24,335 Nope. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 262 00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:26,253 I wasn't watching you. 263 00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:29,632 I was watching a couple behind you kissing. 264 00:11:29,715 --> 00:11:31,091 -A straight couple. -Dude. 265 00:11:31,175 --> 00:11:33,469 Not that that matters. It just-- 266 00:11:33,552 --> 00:11:34,637 -I'm just clarifying. -Yeah. 267 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:38,390 You don't have to take out your phone. That's-- I'm outta here. 268 00:11:39,725 --> 00:11:40,935 See you later! 269 00:11:51,237 --> 00:11:53,280 Hey, there's that guy. 270 00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:54,907 -You kicked ass today. -Oh. 271 00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:57,201 Big fan, I love those Rooster books. I read 'em all. 272 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:58,118 Oh, thank you. 273 00:11:58,994 --> 00:12:00,037 You're the... 274 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:01,538 the bikini kid. 275 00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:02,873 Oh, Tommy Newton. 276 00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:08,712 Oh, shit. I forgot my wallet. Stupid. 277 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,089 -No, no, no. Give me that. -Really? 278 00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:11,966 -I got you. -Oh, sweet. 279 00:12:12,049 --> 00:12:13,300 Wait, I'ma get some chips too, then. 280 00:12:14,218 --> 00:12:15,803 I'm just kidding. Very kind, thanks. 281 00:12:15,886 --> 00:12:17,554 It's okay. Got ya. 282 00:12:17,638 --> 00:12:19,682 -Again, I really appreciate it. -No problem. There you go. 283 00:12:19,765 --> 00:12:20,933 -Sweet. -Enjoy it. 284 00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:22,268 Bonjour, mes amis. 285 00:12:23,102 --> 00:12:25,312 -Hello. -I said "hello" in French 286 00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,648 because I am betting that you are from Paris, 287 00:12:27,731 --> 00:12:31,026 where they let kids drink wine and babies smoke cigarettes. 288 00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:33,529 But here in America, the legal drinking age is 21. 289 00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:35,572 You're not 21? 290 00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,616 -Not yet. -Okay, officer. 291 00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,744 He said that he forgot his wallet. 292 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:43,831 -He offered to buy me beer. -Are you kidding me? 293 00:12:43,914 --> 00:12:45,833 Kind of an age-old story, isn't it? 294 00:12:45,916 --> 00:12:48,502 Kid gives you 20 bucks, you go inside and get him some beer. 295 00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:51,338 -I don't need 20 bucks. -Okay, money buckets. 296 00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:53,132 There's other reasons you might do it. 297 00:12:53,215 --> 00:12:55,301 What, for like a blowjob in the alley? 298 00:12:55,384 --> 00:12:56,510 What? 299 00:12:56,593 --> 00:12:59,096 -F-- oh. -No. 300 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:03,142 I was thinking that you might do it because he seems like a good kid. 301 00:13:03,225 --> 00:13:05,144 Yes, yes, yes. That makes much more sense. 302 00:13:05,227 --> 00:13:09,106 But now, I got this blowjob thing stuck in my head, 303 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,941 -and either you're giving it to him... -No, no. 304 00:13:11,025 --> 00:13:11,859 ...or he's giving it to you, 305 00:13:11,942 --> 00:13:12,943 -but either way... -Nobody's giving anyone 306 00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:14,695 -a blowjob, Officer! -...that's all I can see right now. 307 00:13:14,778 --> 00:13:16,905 -No, no, it was just a stupid remark. -No. No, no, no, no, no. 308 00:13:16,989 --> 00:13:19,241 No, you don't just say something like that unless you're thinking it. 309 00:13:19,325 --> 00:13:20,534 -Yeah, I agree. -Yes. 310 00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:23,412 I disagree. I wholeheartedly disagree. 311 00:13:23,495 --> 00:13:25,205 Tommy Newton, come on. 312 00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,626 He didn't do anything, I tricked him. 313 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:31,587 There you go. 314 00:13:31,670 --> 00:13:32,671 Alright. 315 00:13:33,881 --> 00:13:35,758 Leave the beer and get outta here. 316 00:13:38,761 --> 00:13:40,220 Thanks for being a good kid. 317 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,223 Even if it was just right at the end. 318 00:13:43,307 --> 00:13:45,142 I'm gonna go ahead and take these from you. 319 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:46,560 Oh, okay. 320 00:13:46,643 --> 00:13:48,812 Stay out of the alleys. 321 00:13:53,859 --> 00:13:55,027 Okay. 322 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,919 Yeah. Fuck it. 323 00:14:29,728 --> 00:14:31,313 Oh, fuck. 324 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,274 Oh! Shh! 325 00:14:34,358 --> 00:14:37,027 Hey, kiddo, sorry about before. 326 00:14:37,111 --> 00:14:39,238 Are you really gonna make me eat dinner by myself? 327 00:14:39,321 --> 00:14:40,864 Huh? Call me. 328 00:14:41,573 --> 00:14:42,866 -Hey, Margaret. -Hey. 329 00:14:47,996 --> 00:14:49,206 Katie? 330 00:14:50,666 --> 00:14:51,750 Hey. 331 00:14:53,419 --> 00:14:54,670 I'm walking the dog. 332 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,883 He only shits in this yard, so... 333 00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:06,098 Excuse me. 334 00:15:07,516 --> 00:15:09,935 -How is your house Chardonnay? -Tastes like shit. 335 00:15:10,018 --> 00:15:12,020 Great. I'll have one Chardonnay. 336 00:15:12,104 --> 00:15:14,314 -Chardonnay? Oh. -Oh, hi. 337 00:15:14,398 --> 00:15:15,941 -What are you doing here? -Get a real drink. 338 00:15:16,024 --> 00:15:18,819 -Excuse me? -You wanna sit here by yourself, fine. 339 00:15:18,902 --> 00:15:21,447 You wanna join me, you need to get a little more self-destructive. 340 00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:23,198 -Okay. -Tequila Blanco. 341 00:15:23,282 --> 00:15:25,492 Rocks. Splash of lime. 342 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,369 Alright, yeah. Make that two. 343 00:15:27,453 --> 00:15:29,413 -Sure. -Can I at least get more nuts? 344 00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:30,998 Did you eat that whole bowl? 345 00:15:31,081 --> 00:15:32,583 We're good with the nuts. 346 00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:35,752 Listen, I don't see what the problem is. 347 00:15:35,836 --> 00:15:38,130 She's never even taught before. 348 00:15:38,213 --> 00:15:39,506 You pulled some strings. 349 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,550 You got your friend a job. I think it's nice. 350 00:15:41,633 --> 00:15:43,927 What if she sucks and Walt fires her? 351 00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:45,679 Worst-case scenario. 352 00:15:46,305 --> 00:15:47,806 It goes horribly. She blames you. 353 00:15:47,890 --> 00:15:51,477 Something breaks deep inside of her, and she shoots you in the face. 354 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,687 I will fuck you up. 355 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:55,522 You know, I pretended it was for her. 356 00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,775 She had just gotten a divorce. I said, "Oh, you need a change." 357 00:15:58,859 --> 00:16:02,112 But it wasn't for her. It was for me. 358 00:16:02,196 --> 00:16:05,866 I just feel so isolated. 359 00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:07,576 And, look, I've been here for a minute. 360 00:16:07,659 --> 00:16:09,786 A few friends didn't get tenure and split. 361 00:16:10,829 --> 00:16:12,831 I've already dated everybody worth dating. 362 00:16:12,915 --> 00:16:16,168 And I said "I love you" once, but I took it back. 363 00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:18,003 -You can do that? -You can. 364 00:16:18,086 --> 00:16:19,421 But they get really mad. 365 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:26,845 You ever been completely surrounded by people 366 00:16:26,929 --> 00:16:28,555 and still felt utterly alone? 367 00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,849 Yeah, for about 25 years. 368 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,310 I was married. 369 00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,229 -Right. -Right, oh yeah. 370 00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:39,233 -To the school's most celebrated alum. -Yes. 371 00:16:39,316 --> 00:16:40,859 Actually, you would love her. 372 00:16:40,943 --> 00:16:42,069 You'd love Elizabeth. 373 00:16:43,111 --> 00:16:43,987 When we were married... 374 00:16:45,239 --> 00:16:46,782 there were always so many people around. 375 00:16:46,865 --> 00:16:52,496 And when we split up, those same people were the ones to say 376 00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:56,917 that we never made sense together, because she was so far out of my league. 377 00:16:58,502 --> 00:17:00,546 And for a long time, I felt they were right. 378 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:02,714 How long? 379 00:17:06,468 --> 00:17:08,762 What is this all about? 380 00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:10,264 Your key is bent. 381 00:17:10,346 --> 00:17:12,182 Yeah, it's my house key. It doesn't always work. 382 00:17:12,266 --> 00:17:13,432 Quit changing the subject. 383 00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:16,519 Too long. 384 00:17:17,312 --> 00:17:18,689 I felt that way for too long. 385 00:17:21,775 --> 00:17:23,067 Want me to get us some more nuts? 386 00:17:23,151 --> 00:17:24,736 So badly. 387 00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:26,572 Excuse me. Can we get some more nuts? 388 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:29,575 -Would you like 'em warm? -Warm nuts? 389 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,618 They haven't even talked to each other. 390 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:35,747 Archie is so gutless, he can't even look her in the eye 391 00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:37,874 and explain what happened. 392 00:17:37,958 --> 00:17:40,627 Know what I wanna do? I wanna go over there 393 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:42,796 and just tell him to man the heck up! 394 00:17:43,213 --> 00:17:45,632 I think you gotta go with "man the fuck up." 395 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,051 -I love you. -Oh, hope you get an F. 396 00:17:48,135 --> 00:17:49,928 -What was that? -That's a long story. 397 00:17:50,012 --> 00:17:53,307 It doesn't matter, because if I talk to him, 398 00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:54,850 -Katie would kill me. -No, she wouldn't. 399 00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:56,226 She'll love you for it. 400 00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:57,728 Ugh, I don't think so. 401 00:17:57,811 --> 00:18:00,480 I mean, she wouldn't tell you she loves you for it. 402 00:18:00,564 --> 00:18:03,609 And then, she'll probably say she's mad at you. 403 00:18:05,527 --> 00:18:07,696 You didn't have to walk me all the way home. 404 00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:09,740 Oh, well, I'm glad I did, though. 405 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:10,991 That was fun. 406 00:18:11,074 --> 00:18:13,493 -Good night. -You wanna come in? 407 00:18:13,577 --> 00:18:14,661 Hmm? 408 00:18:15,704 --> 00:18:17,247 You wanna come in? 409 00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:21,168 Okay, in two weeks, my friend is gonna be living right there. 410 00:18:21,251 --> 00:18:24,421 And I love her, but she is always all up in my business. 411 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:29,718 So, probably no more fucking the guest speakers for me. 412 00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:32,596 Wow. 413 00:18:33,597 --> 00:18:36,475 I've never done this before. I'm just kidding. 414 00:18:36,558 --> 00:18:39,186 -I know. -No, you didn't. 415 00:18:39,269 --> 00:18:41,438 No, I did not know. 416 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,982 Oh. Do you know how old I am? 417 00:18:44,066 --> 00:18:45,901 It's your lucky day, Grandpa. 418 00:18:45,984 --> 00:18:48,403 Oh. 419 00:18:48,904 --> 00:18:51,281 Oh! Oh! 420 00:18:51,365 --> 00:18:54,785 Dylan, you are gorgeous. 421 00:18:55,702 --> 00:19:01,875 And funny, and so, so smart, that I feel even dumber than usual. 422 00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,127 -But today has just been a day. -Okay, you can stop. 423 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:06,380 No, no, no, no! I was just saying, 424 00:19:06,463 --> 00:19:08,757 maybe we could just stand out here and talk for a little while? 425 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,551 I really don't love talking to men who just rejected me-- 426 00:19:11,635 --> 00:19:12,886 I didn't reject you! 427 00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:14,680 I just-- I'm uncomfortable. 428 00:19:14,763 --> 00:19:18,266 And it's not you. It's me-- I'm-- that's who-- 429 00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:21,228 That's what I am most of the time, always. 430 00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:25,148 So, maybe we could have a drink? 431 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:29,736 Yeah? And kind of-- kinda just see where it goes? 432 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,987 Okay. 433 00:19:33,198 --> 00:19:35,242 Would you like to come in and have a drink? 434 00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:38,412 I probably shouldn't. 435 00:19:39,996 --> 00:19:42,124 What-- Holy crap. 436 00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:44,334 You just rejected me twice. 437 00:19:44,418 --> 00:19:46,169 -Why would you do that? -I don't know. 438 00:19:46,253 --> 00:19:47,963 I don't know why I do so many things. 439 00:19:48,046 --> 00:19:49,256 -Good night. -No. 440 00:19:49,339 --> 00:19:50,590 Wait. Dylan! Dylan! 441 00:19:50,674 --> 00:19:52,134 -Dylan! -Come on. 442 00:19:52,217 --> 00:19:54,636 Oh, the key. The curse of the bent key. 443 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,596 Come on, come on. Shit. 444 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,306 You could try it a little less psychotically. 445 00:19:58,390 --> 00:19:59,891 -Okay, please just go. -No, no, no. 446 00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:02,144 I wouldn't be a gentleman unless I waited for you to-- 447 00:20:02,227 --> 00:20:03,520 Oh. 448 00:20:05,731 --> 00:20:07,023 Okay. 449 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,780 Good night. 450 00:20:21,079 --> 00:20:23,457 Hey, Bug, you sure you don't want me to drive you? 451 00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:25,125 No, no, no, I got it. 452 00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:27,461 Hey, well, how come you need to go to the dentist? 453 00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:29,588 Because I hurt my arm. 454 00:20:29,671 --> 00:20:31,214 -That's a joke. -Relax. 455 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:33,300 -I'll be back later. -Okay. 456 00:20:33,383 --> 00:20:35,552 -Big push for a big girl. -Yeah, see ya. 457 00:20:36,261 --> 00:20:38,513 -Eyes on the horizon. -Got it! 458 00:20:39,848 --> 00:20:41,057 Hello, Guv! 459 00:20:42,058 --> 00:20:44,186 Greg. Heard you were on campus. 460 00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,021 Come on. 461 00:20:50,776 --> 00:20:52,652 Just pop it on a coaster for me, will ya? 462 00:20:57,157 --> 00:20:59,451 I understand that you're the first Russian Studies professor 463 00:20:59,534 --> 00:21:01,411 to receive the Wallace Fellowship. 464 00:21:01,495 --> 00:21:02,829 You don't care about my fellowship. 465 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:04,539 No. Nobody does. 466 00:21:04,623 --> 00:21:06,958 Well, yeah, my friends talk about it quite a lot, so... 467 00:21:07,042 --> 00:21:09,002 -Name one. -You don't know any of my friends. 468 00:21:09,085 --> 00:21:10,629 Well, just throw a name out. 469 00:21:10,712 --> 00:21:13,256 -Kevin. -I will bet you a million dollars 470 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:14,841 that you can't tell me Kevin's last name. 471 00:21:16,384 --> 00:21:19,346 Listen, Greg, I know why you're here, alright? 472 00:21:19,429 --> 00:21:20,972 You love Chekhov, right? 473 00:21:21,056 --> 00:21:23,975 I was wrong. Yeah, I like Chekhov a bit, yeah. 474 00:21:24,059 --> 00:21:27,562 Don't you have that stupid first edition Chekhov book that you're so proud of? 475 00:21:28,146 --> 00:21:30,649 Tolstoy. It's the first edition 476 00:21:30,732 --> 00:21:33,902 of War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. 477 00:21:33,985 --> 00:21:35,529 Yes, I am rather proud of it. 478 00:21:35,612 --> 00:21:37,906 It's probably one of the finest literary creations 479 00:21:37,989 --> 00:21:39,699 any human being has ever made, so... 480 00:21:39,783 --> 00:21:41,117 Why did you cheat on my daughter? 481 00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:42,953 Sounds like you wanna make love to that book. 482 00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:45,580 Okay. Could you just skip to the point, please, Greg? 483 00:21:45,664 --> 00:21:48,458 No, because I thought that you loved Chekhov, 484 00:21:48,542 --> 00:21:50,752 and I spent the morning researching him 485 00:21:50,836 --> 00:21:52,879 -in preparation for this conversation-- -For the love of God. 486 00:21:52,963 --> 00:21:55,423 -Then, pretend that I am a fan of Chekhov. -Okay. 487 00:21:55,507 --> 00:21:57,926 Listen, since you love Chekhov so much, 488 00:21:58,009 --> 00:22:00,345 you obviously know that he said, 489 00:22:00,428 --> 00:22:03,056 "No one must be humiliated." 490 00:22:03,682 --> 00:22:05,183 I have been thinking about that a lot. 491 00:22:05,267 --> 00:22:06,810 How could you have been thinking about that a lot 492 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:08,311 if you only just read it this morning? 493 00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:09,980 -Are you a detective? -Well... 494 00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:12,023 My God! Look. 495 00:22:12,107 --> 00:22:16,403 You need to man the fucking heck up. 496 00:22:17,445 --> 00:22:19,906 Katie has been humiliated, and I think that you owe it to her. 497 00:22:19,990 --> 00:22:21,199 I love her. 498 00:22:24,536 --> 00:22:25,871 I do, I love her. 499 00:22:26,913 --> 00:22:28,832 Then what are you doing, man? 500 00:22:28,915 --> 00:22:30,292 I... 501 00:22:34,129 --> 00:22:35,505 I just-- I got lost. 502 00:22:37,507 --> 00:22:42,596 We weren't getting along, and we drifted a bit, and I withdrew. 503 00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:45,181 And then along came Sunny, and the clouds-- 504 00:22:45,265 --> 00:22:47,684 I'm cool not knowing anything about Sunny. 505 00:22:47,767 --> 00:22:49,311 Look. 506 00:22:49,394 --> 00:22:51,479 I am ready and willing to take the lion's share of the blame 507 00:22:51,563 --> 00:22:52,898 with what happened between me and Katie. 508 00:22:52,981 --> 00:22:54,816 -You are a hero. -Thank you. 509 00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:57,485 And also, your friend Kevin is not real. 510 00:22:58,486 --> 00:23:01,031 Katie and I both have things that we need to work on, 511 00:23:01,114 --> 00:23:04,075 and I want to do that work, Greg, 512 00:23:04,159 --> 00:23:06,244 because she is still the most important thing 513 00:23:06,328 --> 00:23:08,246 that's ever happened to me. 514 00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:11,625 And I think I've really cocked this up, 515 00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:13,084 -haven't I? -Yeah. 516 00:23:14,169 --> 00:23:15,837 You cocked it up. 517 00:23:18,632 --> 00:23:20,008 Do you think she'll ever take me back? 518 00:23:20,091 --> 00:23:21,092 I wouldn't. 519 00:23:21,176 --> 00:23:22,928 But if you want to find out... 520 00:23:24,095 --> 00:23:25,513 you have to man the fuck up. 521 00:23:28,934 --> 00:23:30,310 You really nailed it that time. 522 00:23:30,393 --> 00:23:32,145 -I don't need your approval. -Okay. 523 00:23:32,228 --> 00:23:33,855 But thank you. 524 00:23:39,569 --> 00:23:41,237 Bobby Orr. 525 00:23:41,321 --> 00:23:43,073 Native of Kitchener, Ontario. 526 00:23:43,156 --> 00:23:46,743 Who gives a shit? I cannot believe that you spoke to Archie. 527 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,955 I was promised you'd eventually love me for it. 528 00:23:50,038 --> 00:23:51,748 He wants to see me tomorrow. 529 00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,959 He says that he thinks he's found a path back. 530 00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:55,502 Alright, that's a good thing, yeah? 531 00:23:55,585 --> 00:23:57,837 Why, because he's stopped banging that girl, 532 00:23:57,921 --> 00:24:00,256 so I'm supposed to run home and rip off all my clothes? 533 00:24:00,340 --> 00:24:03,176 I seriously doubt that that is his "path back" idea. 534 00:24:04,511 --> 00:24:05,428 I know you're mad. 535 00:24:05,512 --> 00:24:06,805 I have a question. 536 00:24:07,889 --> 00:24:09,057 Do you still love him? 537 00:24:12,978 --> 00:24:13,895 Shit. 538 00:24:15,188 --> 00:24:19,442 You know, I never really told you why your mom and I split up. 539 00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:20,860 She cheated on you. 540 00:24:20,944 --> 00:24:22,487 Oh, good, so you're in the loop. 541 00:24:23,113 --> 00:24:23,947 No. 542 00:24:25,407 --> 00:24:26,783 My biggest regret... 543 00:24:28,243 --> 00:24:30,203 was that I didn't fight for her. 544 00:24:32,247 --> 00:24:35,291 If you love him, don't be a coward like I was. 545 00:24:36,584 --> 00:24:38,211 If I say that I will go and see him, 546 00:24:38,294 --> 00:24:40,422 will you please stop telling me to do things 547 00:24:40,505 --> 00:24:42,799 -that I don't want to do? -Promise. 548 00:24:44,801 --> 00:24:46,886 -Also, try to be kind. -Jesus Christ. 549 00:24:46,970 --> 00:24:48,680 You're going to want to say some stuff 550 00:24:48,763 --> 00:24:50,932 that's really horrible to him, and he deserves it. 551 00:24:51,016 --> 00:24:52,475 -Yeah. -But there are certain things 552 00:24:52,559 --> 00:24:54,561 you can't take back, honey. 553 00:24:54,644 --> 00:24:56,855 And I am speaking from experience. 554 00:24:58,398 --> 00:24:59,899 That's all. Go see him. 555 00:25:01,151 --> 00:25:03,028 Try to be kind. That's it. 556 00:25:03,111 --> 00:25:04,487 Okay, I'm gonna head out. 557 00:25:05,530 --> 00:25:08,867 Love you. I will drop by tomorrow morning 558 00:25:08,950 --> 00:25:12,662 -after I see Walt and say farewell. -Dad? 559 00:25:14,497 --> 00:25:16,583 Do you wanna stay and hang? 560 00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:18,960 Always. 561 00:25:20,545 --> 00:25:21,880 Yes, I do. 562 00:25:22,797 --> 00:25:23,798 Okay. 563 00:25:28,470 --> 00:25:31,139 Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh! 564 00:25:32,974 --> 00:25:36,895 Fifteen minutes at 185 degrees, at least three times a week. 565 00:25:36,978 --> 00:25:39,355 Speeds up the metabolism, flushes out the toxins, 566 00:25:39,439 --> 00:25:43,443 and is clinically proven to lower your chance of dementia by 53%. 567 00:25:43,526 --> 00:25:45,195 And aren't you a lucky guy? 568 00:25:45,278 --> 00:25:47,447 You have all that fur to keep the heat in. 569 00:25:47,530 --> 00:25:49,115 Yeah, I feel lucky. 570 00:25:49,824 --> 00:25:52,035 Can't say I'm pleased you turned down my job offer. 571 00:25:52,118 --> 00:25:53,161 Sorry. 572 00:25:53,244 --> 00:25:54,913 Has it been 15 minutes yet? 573 00:25:54,996 --> 00:25:56,039 Ninety seconds, Greg. 574 00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:58,833 Boy, you're gonna love the contrast with the cold plunge. 575 00:25:58,917 --> 00:26:01,544 -I can't wait. -I am happy to see things 576 00:26:01,628 --> 00:26:04,130 are turning the corner for Archie and Katie. 577 00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:06,633 Would have been a shame to have to let her go. 578 00:26:06,716 --> 00:26:08,676 -Excuse me? -Well, if this drama 579 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,428 got outta hand, I had to pick one. 580 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:13,807 He's got the tenure and the Wallace Fellowship, so-- 581 00:26:13,890 --> 00:26:16,434 Nobody cares about that. 582 00:26:18,937 --> 00:26:20,271 Have you ever been married, Walt? 583 00:26:20,355 --> 00:26:21,523 I am married now. 584 00:26:21,606 --> 00:26:24,192 -Wow. Oh. -Joanie, she loves to travel. 585 00:26:24,275 --> 00:26:25,568 I don't. 586 00:26:25,652 --> 00:26:28,238 So, we do two months together, two months apart, 587 00:26:28,321 --> 00:26:30,198 and then we just repeat that the rest of the year. 588 00:26:30,281 --> 00:26:31,491 She'll be back in a few weeks. 589 00:26:32,534 --> 00:26:33,409 I can't wait. 590 00:26:34,744 --> 00:26:36,454 Sounds like you've solved marriage. 591 00:26:36,538 --> 00:26:37,997 I have, Greg. 592 00:26:38,081 --> 00:26:39,999 Mm-hmm, yeah. You're lucky. 593 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,837 When you get your heart broken, it's... 594 00:26:44,963 --> 00:26:47,298 it's-- Ah, whatever. 595 00:26:47,382 --> 00:26:49,843 -Never mind. -What do you mean, never mind? 596 00:26:49,926 --> 00:26:53,888 Number three, "hothouse is for real talk." 597 00:26:53,972 --> 00:26:55,890 You had that made up professionally? 598 00:26:55,974 --> 00:26:57,517 I made it, in woodshop. 599 00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:58,977 -Nice. -Yep. 600 00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:04,315 When you get your heart broken, 601 00:27:04,399 --> 00:27:06,526 it feels like somebody shot you in the face. 602 00:27:07,777 --> 00:27:09,779 It doesn't matter if it's been five years. 603 00:27:10,989 --> 00:27:12,824 You just... 604 00:27:12,907 --> 00:27:16,494 you feel like you're never gonna bounce back, you know? 605 00:27:18,705 --> 00:27:20,665 Can't let that happen to Katie. 606 00:27:21,416 --> 00:27:22,709 Hmm. 607 00:27:23,501 --> 00:27:24,377 Alright. 608 00:27:25,253 --> 00:27:26,713 Ah, Katie. 609 00:27:26,796 --> 00:27:29,507 I'm not gonna sit down 'cause I don't know where you guys have had sex, 610 00:27:29,591 --> 00:27:30,842 -so I'm gonna pace. -Right, okay. 611 00:27:30,925 --> 00:27:32,135 That's actually something I'd love to say to you-- 612 00:27:32,218 --> 00:27:33,887 -Look, I wanted to say... -No, hold on, listen, 613 00:27:33,970 --> 00:27:34,846 -I really need to tell you something-- -...that to start off-- 614 00:27:34,929 --> 00:27:36,973 -No. No. -No, no, if I can just go first and then-- 615 00:27:37,056 --> 00:27:39,559 Sit down! I'm trying really hard not to lose my shit here, 616 00:27:39,642 --> 00:27:41,352 and your interrupting me is not helping. 617 00:27:41,436 --> 00:27:43,021 Please, sit down and shut up. 618 00:27:44,564 --> 00:27:47,650 Unfortunately, I was gonna say that you actually should start, 619 00:27:47,734 --> 00:27:49,527 but there's nothing that you could say 620 00:27:49,611 --> 00:27:52,989 that would help me understand how you could do this to me. 621 00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:54,782 And you didn't even try to explain yourself. 622 00:27:54,866 --> 00:27:56,075 Are you fucking serious? 623 00:27:56,159 --> 00:27:58,036 -Trying to-- -Archie, that's when you get 624 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,372 when those women on Dateline snap and poison their husbands. 625 00:28:01,456 --> 00:28:03,541 Because I have thought about killing you. 626 00:28:03,625 --> 00:28:05,251 And I know it's not smart to say out loud, 627 00:28:05,335 --> 00:28:07,545 in case something weird happens and you do die, 628 00:28:07,629 --> 00:28:09,672 and then somebody else in the bar is like, "Well, I heard her-- 629 00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:11,382 I heard her talking about how she'd kill her husband." 630 00:28:11,466 --> 00:28:13,134 But we're not in a bar, so I feel pretty safe. 631 00:28:13,218 --> 00:28:14,636 I could so murder you. 632 00:28:14,719 --> 00:28:15,845 Good lord. 633 00:28:17,597 --> 00:28:19,098 But my dad told me to be kind. 634 00:28:21,851 --> 00:28:23,770 I just don't know how to get there. 635 00:28:28,566 --> 00:28:29,859 I love you. 636 00:28:32,904 --> 00:28:34,781 And I think we can get through this. 637 00:28:39,869 --> 00:28:41,371 Okay. 638 00:28:44,624 --> 00:28:45,959 Now, you talk. 639 00:28:54,550 --> 00:28:56,928 It doesn't matter what you say. Just say something. 640 00:28:58,513 --> 00:29:00,682 She didn't go to the dentist. 641 00:29:00,765 --> 00:29:03,101 Okay, it matters a little. It can't just be gibberish. 642 00:29:03,184 --> 00:29:06,020 Sunny said that she was going to the dentist, 643 00:29:06,104 --> 00:29:08,731 -but she went to the doctor's. -Well, dentists are doctors. 644 00:29:12,110 --> 00:29:13,403 She's pregnant. 645 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,324 This is what I was-- I just found out. 646 00:29:18,408 --> 00:29:20,535 I love you, Katie. 647 00:29:20,618 --> 00:29:23,079 I was gonna beg for you to take me back. 648 00:29:23,162 --> 00:29:24,914 I have this speech where I explain everything, 649 00:29:24,998 --> 00:29:26,249 but I don't make any excuses. 650 00:29:26,332 --> 00:29:27,625 It's really good. I can still say it. 651 00:29:27,709 --> 00:29:29,752 -Get out. -Okay. 652 00:29:31,504 --> 00:29:32,714 This is my house. 653 00:29:32,797 --> 00:29:34,716 Please get out, please get out, please get out. 654 00:29:42,515 --> 00:29:44,767 -I really do love you, Katie. -Fuck you. 655 00:29:45,310 --> 00:29:46,811 Do you know how long you're gonna be? 656 00:29:46,894 --> 00:29:48,521 -Get out. -Okay. 657 00:29:54,444 --> 00:29:56,612 -Are you loving the contrast? -No! 658 00:29:56,696 --> 00:29:58,072 You're activating the brown fat. 659 00:29:58,156 --> 00:29:59,532 Brown fat is not real. 660 00:29:59,615 --> 00:30:01,409 -You don't mean that. -I do. 661 00:30:01,492 --> 00:30:03,828 Now, we're gonna finish by you going under for five. 662 00:30:12,003 --> 00:30:13,463 Oh! 663 00:30:13,546 --> 00:30:15,798 I don't like it. I don't like it. 664 00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:45,661 Oh, shit. 665 00:30:49,540 --> 00:30:51,542 Oh, ah, ah! No! 666 00:30:51,626 --> 00:30:53,086 No. No, no, no, no, no. 667 00:30:53,961 --> 00:30:54,837 Ow! 668 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,173 Ow. Ah! 669 00:31:01,511 --> 00:31:02,512 Oh, my, no. 670 00:31:10,603 --> 00:31:13,981 Hey, Beth, I know you said that I didn't need to go see Katie, 671 00:31:14,065 --> 00:31:16,734 but I did, and I'm glad that I did. 672 00:31:17,652 --> 00:31:20,029 And I am so, so cold. 673 00:31:21,489 --> 00:31:23,950 Call me when you can. Bye. 674 00:31:29,163 --> 00:31:30,748 Oh, my gosh. 675 00:31:34,127 --> 00:31:36,254 Why would you make me talk to him? 676 00:31:36,337 --> 00:31:37,797 -Hey, folks. -Oh, no, this guy. 677 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,341 -I was with you all morning. -Wait, what? 678 00:31:40,425 --> 00:31:42,135 Ma'am. Blowjob guy. 679 00:31:42,218 --> 00:31:43,386 Hey. 680 00:31:44,053 --> 00:31:45,972 You guys wouldn't happen to know what's going on here 681 00:31:46,055 --> 00:31:47,807 -with this fire, would you? -No. 682 00:31:48,641 --> 00:31:50,143 She was with me all morning. 683 00:31:51,352 --> 00:31:52,562 No, I wasn't. 684 00:31:52,645 --> 00:31:54,647 -Huh. -Seriously? 685 00:31:54,730 --> 00:31:58,317 Okay, so immediately, conflicting stories. 686 00:31:58,401 --> 00:31:59,652 Why don't you both stay here? 687 00:31:59,735 --> 00:32:01,112 I'm gonna go grab my pen. 688 00:32:01,195 --> 00:32:02,363 Do not leave. 689 00:32:05,158 --> 00:32:06,075 Where's my pen? 690 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:08,453 -Who's got my pen? -Ah. 691 00:32:10,037 --> 00:32:10,955 Shoot. 692 00:33:15,102 --> 00:33:17,021 Bye-bye.